Just one question - Input Junkie
Just one question|
What, if anything, would you like have be different about your relationship to food?
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comments so far on that entry.
I'd like to be able to eat without worrying about my weight.
I would like not to want it so much.
|Date:||February 4th, 2011 09:58 pm (UTC)|| |
I'd like to have grown up in a culture that wasn't stark raving batshit rat-buggering gibbering insane about food. I've consciously rejected the insanity but growing up under 100 PSI of normative disordered eating acculturation, some of it soaked in. So every once in a while I have a spasm of "I am OMGDEATHFAT!!! and should not be putting anything in my mouth that contains calories, ever", or I look at my eating and think that everything I eat, even the most innocuous slice of cucumber, is actually binging, or I think that there is SOMETHING TERRIBLY WRONG WITH ME because I do not weigh everything I eat and keep a log of it complete with calories and gram measurements of carbs, fat, protein, and crushing soul-searing guilt about eating anything at all because THAT IS WHAT NORMAL WOMEN DO ESPECIALLY NORMAL DIABETICS WHY AREN'T YOU NORMAL YOU HORRIBLE FREAK EVERYTHING BAD THAT EVER HAPPENS TO YOU IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DON'T CONTROL YOUR EATING PROPERLY.
I have some issues about our cultural issues about food.
Edited at 2011-02-04 10:00 pm (UTC)
I would make my mom's relationship with food more sane, so that mine and my brother's would be too.
Also, I'd already know how to cook the things I am learning to cook now.
I'm actually changing my diet - more plants, less meat, less processed foods - and going through my 90+ cookbooks and deciding which ones to let go. I feel very food-focussed right now, but it's a project that I will let go of eventually; it won't occupy this much headspace by this time next year.
|Date:||February 4th, 2011 10:44 pm (UTC)|| |
I wish food didn't equal comfort for me. I could do without eating stuff because I was anxious or sad rather than hungry.
|Date:||February 5th, 2011 12:10 am (UTC)|| |
I'd like to be less edible. To insects, in particular.
Just about everything. I would like not to obsess about it, I'd like to have faith that yummy things will always be available to me, so I can eat smaller portions, and (like someone said previously) I wish it weren't the way I comfort myself.
I just wave my wand, and food appears for whoever wants it!
I'd like my 16-year-old metabolism back. I ate reasonably then, I eat reasonably now (there was a stretch of a couple years in between when I didn't), but now it goes straight to my waist, where then it got worked off or settled in nicely all over. From the back I've still got a hell of an hourglass, but from the other angles? yeah.
I wish my relationship with food wasn't so frustrating.
I was very sick as a baby, and very skinny as a child. I didn't have much of an appetite, and my parents and doctors were very worried about how much nutrition I was getting from what I did eat. I recall being instructed to keep a food journal around the age of 7 just to prove I was eating, and to track what nutrients I would receive from that food.
Of course, around 13/14, puberty happened, my appetite grew, and suddenly, I was chubby.
But I still had the "YOU MUST EAT" mindset.
I wish I hadn't been raised with that, but been respected with my intuitive eating. I suspect I wouldn't struggle with my weight, or dealt with my mother's fat-shaming if I'd been allowed that. (I probably still would have done the latter, actually: Our body shapes/types were so drastically different that her opinions about taking care of my body were useless.)
But I suspect if I hadn't gone into adolescence with the OMG LOOK HOW MUCH I CAN EAT NOW mindset, I wouldn't have as many food quibbles as I do now.
|Date:||February 11th, 2011 09:07 pm (UTC)|| |
I wish I'd known I was celiac early in life, so that people wouldn't have pushed foods I disliked that turned out to be bad for me so hard at me, and so that I would have grown up knowing what to eat and not developed an eating disorder followed by a weight problem.