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My theory - Input Junkie
December 25th, 2014
11:51 pm


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My theory

I'd never thought about the question, but now I have a theory. Santa uses Santa magic to transform his poop into energy and store it. This is why NORAD is well-advised to keep track of him. When he gets back, the energy is used for light, heat, and transportation (possibly some of it is used to power the sleigh), and whatever is left is transformed into toys, but most of the matter for toys is from local snow and rock.

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(7 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:December 25th, 2014 06:19 pm (UTC)
This is very disturbing.

I like it.
[User Picture]
Date:December 25th, 2014 07:50 pm (UTC)
Makes more sense if he uses the cookies to fuel the sled directly. He just stores them in his throat sac and spits them out into the reactor.
[User Picture]
Date:December 26th, 2014 04:08 am (UTC)
Or maybe he doesn't eat the cookies on Christmas, but puts them in the sack and eats them during the year.
[User Picture]
Date:December 26th, 2014 04:48 am (UTC)
That might actually work, if freezing cookies will keep them in decent shape, or if he's got some advanced suspension tech.

At that point, we can also assume he's sharing cookies with the elves.
[User Picture]
Date:December 26th, 2014 06:51 am (UTC)
And we know he's had plenty of freezer space since long before the electrical revolution!
[User Picture]
Date:December 27th, 2014 09:06 pm (UTC)
I once saw a piece that tried to do the energy calculations for the necessary acceleration and deceleration of Santa's sleigh to visit all the houses. Cookies barely cut it, even with pure matter-energy conversion.

(Of course, it also concluded that Santa would incinerate himself with atmospheric friction).
[User Picture]
Date:December 28th, 2014 04:32 am (UTC)
It's not the sleigh itself that flies; it's the reindeer pulling it. The sleigh only needs enough buoyancy to keep it upright despite its totally un-aerodynamic shape.

Some would say, neither the sleigh nor the reindeer, nor Santa himself, require any power-source, or even buoyancy, because they're not material. The spirit of Santa races through the Christmas-observing world as fast as Hugin and Munin: each parent who eats the cookie and drinks the milk is overtaken by that spirit, and embodies it for however long it takes to put the presents under the tree.

This is why you can never catch Santa when he's in your house, no matter how late you stay up. This is why your dogs that bark at everything and nothing never bark at him when he comes. He looks and sounds and even smells exactly like your Dad.

Edited at 2014-12-28 04:32 am (UTC)
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